Thursday, October 28, 2010

Thanatos Showed Me

"You can always sit here" said a crystalline voice.

At this point I was so tired I decided to sit, before knowing where "there" was and who was talking to me.
There was fog in my eyes.
"Just sit down and I will tell you a story".
A rebellious sigh rose from  my chest: was I there to hear some story?!
It was then, after  I had swiped the fog from my eyes, that a sinister landscape came to sight, I was standing on the edge of a path overlooking a gorge.
I sat down. Next to me, suddenly I could see this sweet looking, smiling creature who reminded so much me of Morpheus but had a more relaxed way.
No hurries and no arguments.

Well, it must be a good sign, I thought.
He said Thanatos was his name.
Shivers went down my spine but I told myself: relax, nothing can happen.

He said "Relax, nothing can happen".
"Look, from here you can see that gorge. If you observe very carefully, at a certain point, you might see your enemy's corpse floating in the river".

Now I was freaking out.
"I said you might. Might is all you need to see".
Shaking my head I made a sign that I didn't understand what he was exactly talking about. 
Instead of explaining me the reason of his words, he took a little book out of his pocket and started reading to me.
In my head I was checking a list of things I had eaten before getting involved in this conversation, of the drugs I had not taken and of the news that might have left some indelible footprints in my memory. 
Nothing could be held responsible for that, so I told myself  "be patient and hear what this weirdo has to tell you!".
"Once upon a time" he started.
I stood up and fixed his now silly face and his silly face was telling me I was still on the edge of that path and I would have fallen hadn't I been careful. 
Thanatos, you don't want me to fall?

I sat down again.
"Listen, I don't need to go on with this farce, I just wanted to warn you that you might see your own body down there".

He told me about battles and defeats, he told me that there was no way I could win a lost battle. 
And he added: you know it by yourself, why did you need to come so far if you were aware of the risks?
This time the answer was easy:
"I came here because I was tired of running around, because Morpheus wouldn't let me rest on his pillows".
"Just because he told you they were not for you?You know he is never going to tell you that!Will you be fine with the Jester waking you up?"

Again I stared at him, searching for a little sign of a better answer to all my questions. He knew. So he stared back at me.
"You want me to tell you whether she ever woke up or not. Just close your eyes and let that get unreal again, then you'll know".

I had a bad night, the words of Thanatos were now the only reality I could bring home. 
The Jester...the Jester...that word is still buzzing in my ears.

A Forest of Symbols
A Maze in my Dreams
A Maze in my Dreams II
He Said She Said